You know those moments when you 'space out' for a bit?  It just lasts a few seconds.  But it gives me shivers to think that could apply to a whole life. I  have this horrible thought that I might wake up one day  and realize I didn't have I life, just  a lot of Coach bags. A life who's motto would be "I came, I slept, I shopped."

One of the books that really fed my longing for more awareness and conscious action in my own life is Anthony de Mello's "Awareness." Please put this book on your 'read before I die' list.  De Mello was a Jesuit priest, a delightful, spiritual - and very frank - man who cared about all of us knowing that it was possible to live life awake.   He begins the book, which is a transcript of his lectures "Wake Up To Life" at Fordham University by saying we "are born asleep, we marry in our sleep and we die asleep."  Not a new idea. One that many other teachers would agree with, from Don Miguel Ruiz to Jesus.  The really horrifying this about this idea for me is that we can be asleep, but not even know it.  Like in the film, The Matrix.

Watched The Matrix lately?  It's interesting that first line.

Wake up, Neo...

Awareness for me is a commitment.  I wanted to live 'awake' (I use that carefully, as I try to be mindful of setting up some states as 'good' and others as 'bad') for some practical reasons: so I could stop repeating some old mistakes, not be so motivated by fear and become more open to getting better answers for myself.

It has proved to be a very fruitful place for me to explore. 

To hear my show on Awareness from December 23rd
It includes Anthony de Mello's 4 ways of taking action to come into greater awareness that you can try out for yourself

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After talking to Bryan Douglas, author of "Doing Good Works" on Friday's show,
I asked if I could share some of his terrific ideas about changing the world in one minute.  I've selected a few personal favorites alongside 'compliment someone's tattoo or piercing' so, if you got a minute here's ways to invest in world change.

"A Few Things You Can Do to Change Our World

Please keep in mind that these suggestions are not intended
as legal, financial, medical, or spiritual advice. This list is not so much to
be read as to be consulted ... a reference guide when you are looking
for new ideas.

•Learn a new joke and tell it to someone. You know the
saying about “the healing power of laughter.” That saying
appears to have some truth to it.

• Give a sincere compliment to a friend, a relative, a stranger,
an employee, a child, a senior citizen, or yourself. Compli-
ments are free, but they do wonders for the spirit.

• Personally thank a soldier, teacher, nurse, artist, musician,
crossing guard, police officer, fire fighter, EMT, or any
other deserving person.

• Do something to leave every place you visit a little bit
better than the way you found it.

• Pick up a piece of trash and throw it away. If everyone
did this once per day, litter would no longer be much of
a problem.

• Turn off the water when you brush your teeth. This saves
more water than you may think.

• Extinguish and properly dispose of your cigarette butts
if you smoke. Cigarette butts are litter, just like other
trash.

• When you choose to do something, make a decision to
do it to the best of your ability. It only takes one moment
to make a decision.

• Tell someone special how you feel about them. This is
more powerful than you may think.

• Hold the door for someone. Chivalry is not dead—it’s
just not doing too well these days. We can bring it back
from the brink. Showing basic manners can restore hope
in humanity for those who observe.
.
• Smile and greet a stranger

* Leave an encouraging note for someone in your house
or workplace.

• Let someone in front of you in traffic. This type of kind-
ness helps to lessen “road rage.”

• Let a pedestrian cross. Maybe even two.

• Make sure that someone who lets you into traffic or
lets you cross the street sees you wave and express
thanks. This will encourage him or her to keep up the
good work."
printed with permission from Doing Good Works! by Bryan Douglas

There are many more things I'm sure you can think of,  plus more wonderful lists of things in Bryan's book - some that take as many as 10 whole minutes. 

Of the 1-minute suggestions, these are my personal favorites:

• Jot down your own good deeds throughout the day. It is
encouraging to see just how many little positive changes
you can pack into a day.

• Apologize without expecting forgiveness.

• Forgive without expecting an apology.

love,

Elese

Click here for my show with Bryan

If I'm feeling stressed and pressed rather than blessed, it's a sign to look inside and see what's up. Tempting though it may be to think having lots to do is what creates my busy schedule, what is actually true is that I run my schedule and, even if I am rushing what is my excuse for not being mindful as I go?

I had the opportunity to talk to Bryan Douglas, who wrote "Doing Good Works!" on the show last Friday. He decided to test the idea that we Pay It Forward and decided to go out and help people. That seemed meaningful to me.  It made me want to look and see if my own giving had meaning in the way I hope or whether I'm mindlessly sending cards and buying presents and simply going through the motions.

I guess I had a feeling that there was a sense I might be going through the motions in some ways. In the newsletter last week I included some wonderful thoughts from Jonathan Ellerby, the author of "Return to the Sacred". One of the ideas he raised was that the holidays are a time which naturally give rise to 'spiritual reflection and celebration.'  If I'm not feeling that, maybe there's a reason? His words and the simple practices he suggests reminded me that putting the 'how'  into the holiday is not difficult to do - no matter how busy we are getting the last projects done, while packing, planning, wrapping and cooking.  He suggests practicing old-fashioned kindness toward others, saying yes only to what we can really commit to, and to remember to breathe (and while you take that walk in nature, to notice that the animals are not having difficulty making this holiday pleasant).

As I slow down, clear the calendar and consider what I really want to make time for, I realize that to have anything to give at all, I have just got to remain as connected to my own center as I can.  Anything less and I'm just flying around like a kyte off the string.  

I remind myself that I am committed to take care of myself and to notice when I'm off center. Thich Nhat Hanh is a wonderful teacher of mindfulness, (as well as a tremendous peace activist) and on the website for the Deer Park Monestary it says:

"Mindfulness is the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. It is the continuous practice of touching life deeply in every moment of daily life. To be mindful is to be truly alive and present with those around you and with what you are doing. We bring our body and mind into harmony while we wash the dishes, drive the car or take our morning cup of tea."

Instead of becoming 'wrapped up' in doing, this an invitation for me to stop and take stock of who and how I am being.  And like Bryan probably felt when he just gave a stranger a lift for no other reason than to help out, that just feels good.

More on how giving to ourselves is our best holiday gift in my show with Jack Armstrong
More on the retreat events offered at Deer Park, including their holiday events can be found on www.deerparkmonastery.org/events

The way to find out about happiness could well be to become a gazillionaire and see, but between now and then, there's lots you can do to understand what happiness is for you. The show looks at these, and you also have two archive shows with Robert Holden (on June 5th and July 24th) exploring the 10+ Keys to Happiness.  Great shows.

Meanwhile, if you'd like to explore this right now, here are some questions for you to journal on or think about:

What are the top  5 lessons on happiness your life has taught you so far?  For each one....

            How has it influenced your life?

            How well have you learned it?

And you might want to take on a practice for the week to notice

When you are at your happiest

When you feel most alive / on purpose

Let me know how you go...

We all have explanations for why our lives are the way they are:  divorce, money fear, angry households growing up. I dedicated a show to how to unravel your story and get free. (Nov 25, 2009).

The reason you might want to get to know your story is so that you can really be honest with yourself about the ways your story might be ruling your life - instead of you being in charge!  If there is something in your life you want and you haven't got round to it yet... if there is something you do, that you've promised yourself you'd stop doing, but you 'just haven't yet' ... you probably have a story about why this is the case.

If you really want to make that change that you say you are aiming for, getting shot of your story is critical.  A story is made up of all the stressful thoughts and beliefs that you hold about why things are the way they are (and usually, why they can't change!)

In the show I talk about the story of 'my father left me' and how that devastated me and ruined my relationship with my father for many years.  It's because I got wise to my story, that my father is my best friend today and we have a great relationship.  If you feel ready to start owning your life, rather than being a victim of your story I hope you'll use the show, and try out the ideas.

In this show I gave an exercise for revealing and tracing the links of your story. Here it is:

1. Turn a piece of paper sideways (landscape), in other words, it looks like a rectangle. 
2. Divide the page into 6 equal boxes by drawing a line  left to  right, across the middle of the page and then two lines going top to bottom.
3. You should now have one page with 6 boxes.
4. Label the boxes with the following titles:                                              Internal Dialogue
   Emotions
   Thoughts
   Excuses
   Behaviors
   Choices
   
5. Fill in each box - with those things that are most familiar and frequent for you. Example:  Emotions:  Shame, Anger, Frustration - might be the top three most visited emotions for  you.  Thoughts:  "I'm a failure", "I'm no good".  Behaviors: passive/aggressive, snippy with people, critical, berate self, negative self-talk,
6. Notice and trace lines that connect what you've listed in the boxes.  Example: You might trace Shame  > "I'm a failure" > berate self.  Just keep following the lines and connections you find
   
7. See what you learn about the ways these are connected - for you

Let me know how it goes!