We all have explanations for why our lives are the way they are: divorce, money fear, angry households growing up. I dedicated a show to how to unravel your story and get free. (Nov 25, 2009).
The reason you might want to get to know your story is so that you can really be honest with yourself about the ways your story might be ruling your life - instead of you being in charge! If there is something in your life you want and you haven't got round to it yet... if there is something you do, that you've promised yourself you'd stop doing, but you 'just haven't yet' ... you probably have a story about why this is the case.
If you really want to make that change that you say you are aiming for, getting shot of your story is critical. A story is made up of all the stressful thoughts and beliefs that you hold about why things are the way they are (and usually, why they can't change!)
In the show I talk about the story of 'my father left me' and how that devastated me and ruined my relationship with my father for many years. It's because I got wise to my story, that my father is my best friend today and we have a great relationship. If you feel ready to start owning your life, rather than being a victim of your story I hope you'll use the show, and try out the ideas.
In this show I gave an exercise for revealing and tracing the links of your story. Here it is:
The reason you might want to get to know your story is so that you can really be honest with yourself about the ways your story might be ruling your life - instead of you being in charge! If there is something in your life you want and you haven't got round to it yet... if there is something you do, that you've promised yourself you'd stop doing, but you 'just haven't yet' ... you probably have a story about why this is the case.
If you really want to make that change that you say you are aiming for, getting shot of your story is critical. A story is made up of all the stressful thoughts and beliefs that you hold about why things are the way they are (and usually, why they can't change!)
In the show I talk about the story of 'my father left me' and how that devastated me and ruined my relationship with my father for many years. It's because I got wise to my story, that my father is my best friend today and we have a great relationship. If you feel ready to start owning your life, rather than being a victim of your story I hope you'll use the show, and try out the ideas.
In this show I gave an exercise for revealing and tracing the links of your story. Here it is:
- Turn a piece of paper sideways (landscape), in other words, it looks like a rectangle.
- Divide the page into 6 equal boxes by drawing a line left to right, across the middle of the page and then two lines going top to bottom.
- You should now have one page with 6 boxes.
- Label the boxes with the following titles: Internal Dialogue
Emotions
Thoughts
Excuses
Behaviors
Choices
- Fill in each box - with those things that are most familiar and frequent for you. Example: Emotions: Shame, Anger, Frustration - might be the top three most visited emotions for you. Thoughts: "I'm a failure", "I'm no good". Behaviors: passive/aggressive, snippy with people, critical, berate self, negative self-talk,
- Notice and trace lines that connect what you've listed in the boxes. Example: You might trace Shame > "I'm a failure" > berate self. Just keep following the lines and connections you find
- See what you learn about the ways these are connected - for you