#59 Here comes Mr. Brightside
Don’t you just hate it when you are in the middle of something painful and someone says “Well you have to look on the bright side!”
Not that I’m against positive thinking, but I don’t think it really cheers anyone up to pretend they feel fine when they don’t. (You know how it feels to have someone being all smiles and telling you they are not mad while they are clenching their teeth and fists - it’s dissonant and it’s downright scary).
The only way it works for me to “look on the Bright Side” is if the Bright Side is true.
I’ve never been able to fake myself into happiness. I have found, however, that happiness is not ever far away, even in the worst of times.
Here’s my theory. Think of anything ‘bad’ that’s happened to you, maybe losing a job or breaking up with someone you thought would always be in your life. In my experience, as the years passed, I managed to appreciate the opportunities that these moments of loss created: I have found love and a job I love, for example.
What that means is that, with time, I’ve always been able to enjoy some benefit. So why not just compress time? I’ll either get the lesson now, or I can have it later. I might as well just shake hands and get aquainted and spare myself the wait.
Maybe that is really the only choice we are ever making.
Not that I’m against positive thinking, but I don’t think it really cheers anyone up to pretend they feel fine when they don’t. (You know how it feels to have someone being all smiles and telling you they are not mad while they are clenching their teeth and fists - it’s dissonant and it’s downright scary).
The only way it works for me to “look on the Bright Side” is if the Bright Side is true.
I’ve never been able to fake myself into happiness. I have found, however, that happiness is not ever far away, even in the worst of times.
Here’s my theory. Think of anything ‘bad’ that’s happened to you, maybe losing a job or breaking up with someone you thought would always be in your life. In my experience, as the years passed, I managed to appreciate the opportunities that these moments of loss created: I have found love and a job I love, for example.
What that means is that, with time, I’ve always been able to enjoy some benefit. So why not just compress time? I’ll either get the lesson now, or I can have it later. I might as well just shake hands and get aquainted and spare myself the wait.
Maybe that is really the only choice we are ever making.
© 2010 Elese Coit
If you wish to reprint, feel free, please link back here and if it's of use, include:
"Elese Coit is a leader in transformative personal change and Hosts the Radio Show A New Way To Handle Absolutely Everything. To see the world differently, reach for one of her '101 New Pairs of Glasses' on http://elesecoit.com"
Thank you.
If you wish to reprint, feel free, please link back here and if it's of use, include:
"Elese Coit is a leader in transformative personal change and Hosts the Radio Show A New Way To Handle Absolutely Everything. To see the world differently, reach for one of her '101 New Pairs of Glasses' on http://elesecoit.com"
Thank you.
