Pair #88 All that effort is bad for you
Ever sat in front of your computer with a high whirring noise and you are hitting the keys but nothing is happening? That's what occurs when the computer is trying to process too much information all at once.
You recognize those times when you are 'wound up' in your mind in the same way.
And just like the computer that freezes up when you are most wanting to leave work, or just at the end of that long project plan, or term paper - the mind freezes when you are working your hardest at getting an answer or making an important decision.
So then we get really wound up and it all spirals downwards and gets worse.
When I work with clients on this kind of thing, and they have some idea that the quality of their thinking has a role in creating the quality of their life, and that they are freezing themselves up with the volume of thoughts they have... they often start saying: How do I stop and let go of these thoughts?
So I just want to take a moment to realize that the instant you begin your effort to "let go" the buzz has begun ramping up again.
We all have human minds in which thoughts come and go. That's the process of thinking.
It's actually more helpful to realize that you have plenty of thoughts that you have already released and let go - today, just in the last hour. They came. They went. You hardly noticed them.
The thought that you don't want to walk or feed your dog ever again might have dropped by. You just didn't feel like it. But you don't take that seriously. You don't actually strangle the person who cuts you off in line; even if you think you want to for a split second. And then you just don't think about it anymore.
How does that happen? Did you really need to figure out how to 'let go'?
You are bypassing thoughts all the time.
The nature of thought is a flow, in and out. The process itself is one that you don't have to take particularly seriously.
It's good to see that we have hundreds and thousands of thoughts in our lives that we have never acted on, or even come close to acting on.
That, I've found, is a really great way to not take my own thoughts so seriously.
When I worry how I will learn to "let go" of all my non-serving beliefs and my "self-harming" thoughts, and I focus really, really hard trying to get rid of them, even if I call it "releasing them" it never works anyway.
Pick up a pen. Hold it out in front of you. Now work really hard at dropping it.
What takes effort is hanging on.
Knowing this helps.
You recognize those times when you are 'wound up' in your mind in the same way.
And just like the computer that freezes up when you are most wanting to leave work, or just at the end of that long project plan, or term paper - the mind freezes when you are working your hardest at getting an answer or making an important decision.
So then we get really wound up and it all spirals downwards and gets worse.
When I work with clients on this kind of thing, and they have some idea that the quality of their thinking has a role in creating the quality of their life, and that they are freezing themselves up with the volume of thoughts they have... they often start saying: How do I stop and let go of these thoughts?
So I just want to take a moment to realize that the instant you begin your effort to "let go" the buzz has begun ramping up again.
We all have human minds in which thoughts come and go. That's the process of thinking.
It's actually more helpful to realize that you have plenty of thoughts that you have already released and let go - today, just in the last hour. They came. They went. You hardly noticed them.
The thought that you don't want to walk or feed your dog ever again might have dropped by. You just didn't feel like it. But you don't take that seriously. You don't actually strangle the person who cuts you off in line; even if you think you want to for a split second. And then you just don't think about it anymore.
How does that happen? Did you really need to figure out how to 'let go'?
You are bypassing thoughts all the time.
The nature of thought is a flow, in and out. The process itself is one that you don't have to take particularly seriously.
It's good to see that we have hundreds and thousands of thoughts in our lives that we have never acted on, or even come close to acting on.
That, I've found, is a really great way to not take my own thoughts so seriously.
When I worry how I will learn to "let go" of all my non-serving beliefs and my "self-harming" thoughts, and I focus really, really hard trying to get rid of them, even if I call it "releasing them" it never works anyway.
Pick up a pen. Hold it out in front of you. Now work really hard at dropping it.
What takes effort is hanging on.
Knowing this helps.
