Pair #76 What do goals and ice cream have in common?
People tell me the hard part about goals is not setting them, but the pain of not getting them. I think the really hard part is not confusing the goal with our happiness.
Most of us define a goal as something we will get or become.
But why decide you want something you don't have and then pin your happiness on getting it? It's like deciding you want ice cream and forcing yourself to be miserable while you drive to the store to get it.One of the worst things we can do is decide that getting a goal will mean finally being happy, successful or worthy. It doesn't. You are already worthy, no matter what you do and whether or not you ever get your goals.
A goal is just a clear picture of what 'there' looks like. It's neutral. Personally, I like goals because I like to see and envision where I'm headed. For me right now, that looks like a book rather than a tub of Ben and Jerrys.
I know that I will be able to recognize 'there' because I'll have a book in my hand.
Putting together a book (as in pursuing any goal) is a bit like a very large puzzle - the stepping-stone goals are like the pieces of the puzzle - the more of them click into place, the more I can see what the final puzzle looks like. In fact the more pieces I click into place, the more the final puzzle solution (the book) become inevitable. A no-brainer.
At no point do I want to get frustrated that my puzzle isn't finished yet and toss over the table. I want to enjoy the process of putting together my puzzle. Piece by lovely piece, I want to relish seeing the images and forms come together, as if by magic, out of a pile of mess.
I want to be happy doing my puzzle and happy not doing it.
Because I don't ever want to confuse puzzles (or ice cream) with who I am.
Most of us define a goal as something we will get or become.
But why decide you want something you don't have and then pin your happiness on getting it? It's like deciding you want ice cream and forcing yourself to be miserable while you drive to the store to get it.One of the worst things we can do is decide that getting a goal will mean finally being happy, successful or worthy. It doesn't. You are already worthy, no matter what you do and whether or not you ever get your goals.
A goal is just a clear picture of what 'there' looks like. It's neutral. Personally, I like goals because I like to see and envision where I'm headed. For me right now, that looks like a book rather than a tub of Ben and Jerrys.
I know that I will be able to recognize 'there' because I'll have a book in my hand.
Putting together a book (as in pursuing any goal) is a bit like a very large puzzle - the stepping-stone goals are like the pieces of the puzzle - the more of them click into place, the more I can see what the final puzzle looks like. In fact the more pieces I click into place, the more the final puzzle solution (the book) become inevitable. A no-brainer.
At no point do I want to get frustrated that my puzzle isn't finished yet and toss over the table. I want to enjoy the process of putting together my puzzle. Piece by lovely piece, I want to relish seeing the images and forms come together, as if by magic, out of a pile of mess.
I want to be happy doing my puzzle and happy not doing it.
Because I don't ever want to confuse puzzles (or ice cream) with who I am.
