Pair #28 It's not a lie, it's just not quite the truth
"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"
Fleetwood Mac
Fleetwood Mac
Life can be painful, and sometimes we are so afraid of the painful that we will do many things to avoid it. One of the ways i noticed that I have used to avoid life's dips is lie to myself about what is going on. Now, thre is a lot of chanrge on the word 'lie' so if you prefer substitute 'fool myself'.
I think we are all trying to feel better. If I know it's going to feel bad to go to the dentist, break up with someone, or admit that I can't actually manage everything on my workload, then I might very well tell myself that my tooth doesn't hurt that bad, or that 'somehow' things will work out.
These little self-trickeries don't actually work in the long run, but seem as if they do in the short run. The way I can tell that I'm in the middle of a little white lie (or a big fat one) is that I actually don't feel good. When I deal with things, my life feels clear, there's nothing in the back of my head, no nagging feeling, no unexplained tiredness...
When I pluck up the guts to deal with my avoidances, my life immediately clears up and it feels like I can breath
If you have some little chronic pains, tiredness, lack of enthusiasm, or just a clogged up feeling inside, here are some places I look
I have found that I often don't like the answers to some fo these questions. But I also notice that lying to myself and trying to pretend I don't know the answers doesn't actually work (we know the truth inside, after all). So when we are honest with ourselves, something lines up inside that makes us feel better instantaneously.
Maybe it's our soul thanking us.
if I believed in that.
... just a thought.
I think we are all trying to feel better. If I know it's going to feel bad to go to the dentist, break up with someone, or admit that I can't actually manage everything on my workload, then I might very well tell myself that my tooth doesn't hurt that bad, or that 'somehow' things will work out.
These little self-trickeries don't actually work in the long run, but seem as if they do in the short run. The way I can tell that I'm in the middle of a little white lie (or a big fat one) is that I actually don't feel good. When I deal with things, my life feels clear, there's nothing in the back of my head, no nagging feeling, no unexplained tiredness...
When I pluck up the guts to deal with my avoidances, my life immediately clears up and it feels like I can breath
If you have some little chronic pains, tiredness, lack of enthusiasm, or just a clogged up feeling inside, here are some places I look
- Is there a conversation I'm avoiding?
- Is there an action I know I need to take that I'm not taking?
- Is there someone in my life I need to spend less time with?
- Is there a promise I made to myself I know I am not keeping?
I have found that I often don't like the answers to some fo these questions. But I also notice that lying to myself and trying to pretend I don't know the answers doesn't actually work (we know the truth inside, after all). So when we are honest with ourselves, something lines up inside that makes us feel better instantaneously.
Maybe it's our soul thanking us.
if I believed in that.
... just a thought.
© 2010 Elese Coit
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Thank you.
