Pair #53 Setting your own green light
Over the course of my life I’ve given in to defeat many times. I’ve given up. The thing I noticed this week is that I am often walking a finer line than I think on this, because giving up never feels like throwing my hands up in desperation and sinking to the floor in a heap: it feels more like simply not getting around to something.
Giving up sneaks up upon us in insidious forms: like simply not making time, like putting things off until tomorrow.
Last week I was noticing how many times I heard people say, “life just got in the way," as the reason why they didn't do something they said was important to them. (like writing that book). But how does that work? Can life really insert itself between your fondest dream and your daily calendar?
I just don't believe life gets in the way. I don't believe there is no time. I believe we never take the time to chose.
We too easily consent to wasting our lives on details. We spend little thought time on what's important, much less prioritizing what's important.
I also don't agree that the reason we don't is because it’s scary or too hard. On a basic level there is an unwillingness to train ourselves mentally. And maybe there is just too much tolerance for our minds' own wanderings. We consent to a reactive state of helplessness which gets us out of the task at hand, but kills our longer-terms dreams.
The way out can be to engage others in our game. To not allow ourselves to work alone, to disappear, to become the victims of our own lazy thinking.
Having spent a week with a group of fellow writers, I notice that it actually works quite well. We all encouraged one another. We all admitted where we were blocked and then took a step together. We set the timers for 45 minutes and then said "Go!". And we worked.
At any point in life, there are a multitude of choices, and for most of us in this writing group, we can clearly see two paths ahead: one involves making some hard choices, the other allows me to lag behind, and then ultimately to give up and blame it on life, the kids, work, and being just too busy.
Which to choose I wonder?
Giving up sneaks up upon us in insidious forms: like simply not making time, like putting things off until tomorrow.
Last week I was noticing how many times I heard people say, “life just got in the way," as the reason why they didn't do something they said was important to them. (like writing that book). But how does that work? Can life really insert itself between your fondest dream and your daily calendar?
I just don't believe life gets in the way. I don't believe there is no time. I believe we never take the time to chose.
We too easily consent to wasting our lives on details. We spend little thought time on what's important, much less prioritizing what's important.
I also don't agree that the reason we don't is because it’s scary or too hard. On a basic level there is an unwillingness to train ourselves mentally. And maybe there is just too much tolerance for our minds' own wanderings. We consent to a reactive state of helplessness which gets us out of the task at hand, but kills our longer-terms dreams.
The way out can be to engage others in our game. To not allow ourselves to work alone, to disappear, to become the victims of our own lazy thinking.
Having spent a week with a group of fellow writers, I notice that it actually works quite well. We all encouraged one another. We all admitted where we were blocked and then took a step together. We set the timers for 45 minutes and then said "Go!". And we worked.
At any point in life, there are a multitude of choices, and for most of us in this writing group, we can clearly see two paths ahead: one involves making some hard choices, the other allows me to lag behind, and then ultimately to give up and blame it on life, the kids, work, and being just too busy.
Which to choose I wonder?
© 2010 Elese Coit
If you wish to reprint, feel free, please link back here and if it's of use, include:
"Elese Coit is a leader in transformative personal change and Hosts the Radio Show A New Way To Handle Absolutely Everything. To see the world differently, reach for one of her '101 New Pairs of Glasses' each day on http://elesecoit.com"
Thank you.
If you wish to reprint, feel free, please link back here and if it's of use, include:
"Elese Coit is a leader in transformative personal change and Hosts the Radio Show A New Way To Handle Absolutely Everything. To see the world differently, reach for one of her '101 New Pairs of Glasses' each day on http://elesecoit.com"
Thank you.
