Pair #85 What I'll do to feel good, and what feels good to do
The first quarter of this year has now passed. I sit down and reflect. I'll think about what I'm grateful for, I'll take time out from 'busy' to visit and spend time with what is meaningful to me. (more about that here)
One of the mistakes I've made many times, is not taking the time to just have a fireside chat with the me I'd like to have show up in my life. Lately, I have some questions...
What would the me who's not afraid like to do?
What would the me who knows she is safe like to try out?
What would the me who is pure enjoyment like to express?
So often, I've looked at my life from the point of view of what I assumed was possible, probable or within reason. Or simply what would make me feel better.
Instead of looking for what wanted to come up from inside me and get out.
And I know exactly what, the more I look. Or at least I know one thing.
I know how to tell the difference between what is my authentic desire and what I tend to do to try to alleviate my worries and concerns.
Genuine desire feels different. It feels good. And it feels good whether I think I can have what I desire and whether I consider that 'possible' or not.
And that's way different from doing something in order to feel better.
One month ago I made a commitment to write a book. I made a commitment that I've kept relatively quiet as I nurtured this very personal desire to do something that has more to do with expressing what's inside me then trying to 'be a writer' or write a book in order to not be disappointed with myself.
This is a totally different process.
I decided to write the most self honest account of a life ever written and to share my stories and my learnings so openly that anyone could draw their own insight and healing from them.
And here is the thing about a genuine desire. It came paired up with total commitment.
If you've ever tried to commit to something and failed (and I committed to this book many, many failed times!) then you know how gruff that experience is.
And I'm here to tell you it probably wasn't an authentic desire.
The measure? How you feel about it.
If you sit back to reflect on your progress at some point, and on what you feel committed to, see if you are able to discern the difference between
What I do because it feels good to me.
What I do to me to try to feel good.
One of the mistakes I've made many times, is not taking the time to just have a fireside chat with the me I'd like to have show up in my life. Lately, I have some questions...
What would the me who's not afraid like to do?
What would the me who knows she is safe like to try out?
What would the me who is pure enjoyment like to express?
So often, I've looked at my life from the point of view of what I assumed was possible, probable or within reason. Or simply what would make me feel better.
Instead of looking for what wanted to come up from inside me and get out.
And I know exactly what, the more I look. Or at least I know one thing.
I know how to tell the difference between what is my authentic desire and what I tend to do to try to alleviate my worries and concerns.
Genuine desire feels different. It feels good. And it feels good whether I think I can have what I desire and whether I consider that 'possible' or not.
And that's way different from doing something in order to feel better.
One month ago I made a commitment to write a book. I made a commitment that I've kept relatively quiet as I nurtured this very personal desire to do something that has more to do with expressing what's inside me then trying to 'be a writer' or write a book in order to not be disappointed with myself.
This is a totally different process.
I decided to write the most self honest account of a life ever written and to share my stories and my learnings so openly that anyone could draw their own insight and healing from them.
And here is the thing about a genuine desire. It came paired up with total commitment.
If you've ever tried to commit to something and failed (and I committed to this book many, many failed times!) then you know how gruff that experience is.
And I'm here to tell you it probably wasn't an authentic desire.
The measure? How you feel about it.
If you sit back to reflect on your progress at some point, and on what you feel committed to, see if you are able to discern the difference between
What I do because it feels good to me.
What I do to me to try to feel good.
