It steals your life away from you and robs you of your power.
Why? An excuse always explains who you are being by attributing your behavior to an outside entity. It says you are this way because of something: your partner, or 'those drivers' or 'the diary that didn't have the correct meeting time' or 'stress'. When you make an excuse you are creating a victim out of you.
And being a victim feels awful.
Recently I had a look to see the role that excuses (and complaints) play in my life. You already know what happened if you read Pair #1. I put myself on an excuse fast, and as a result I now have 101 days of sharing ideas with you.
So,if you'd like to play along, see if your little thief comes in the form of excuses, complaints or criticisms.
See which one is your default setting – the place you always seem to end up. Do you have a hard time saying No, without giving an excuse? What about requests – do you make requests with or without complaints? Or excusing yourself for asking? Do you give lots of reasons for why you can't do what you told yourself you will do. How about when apologizing – ever had the yucky experience of someone trying to say they are sorry while making an excuse about why? - Bleuch.
If you can see this will be a useful for you to experiment with this, here is a challenge:
For today declare your life an "Excuse Free Zone" or a "Complaint Free Zone".
What does that mean? You are on a total, 100% Excuse-fast. No excuses. Ever. None. Nada. Zero. Nil. Never. For the whole day
- No excuses. (or 'no complaints' if you prefer – but don't do both!)
- Notice how it is for you as you go.
- No beating yourself up.
- Pick a specific start time and a specific end time too
Post here if you want to share about it.
Variations on the Game
For those who want to play hardball, do the above for 7 days.
For those who want to play hardcore, here is the Total Bootcamp version:
For 7 days you declare a total Excuse Free Zone as above.
However, if you break down and give an excuse for something at any time, even the smallest, teeniest one, you start over at day 1 and start counting 7 days all over again (yes, even if it is on day 7). You are not done with the game until you complete 7 fully excuse-free days.
If you wish to reprint, feel free, please include:
"Elese Coit is a leader in transformative personal change and Hosts the Radio Show A New Way To Handle Absolutely Everything. To see the world differently, reach for one of her '101 New Pairs of Glasses' each day on http://elesecoit.com"