Maybe something small, like getting a paper cut or breaking a nail. Annoying, but no big deal. And then there are the bigger things: plummeting stocks, an unexpected vet bill, something major goes wrong with your car... on and on.
We can't rid ourselves of annoyances. Things happen that we cannot control, no matter how much we try to.
If my plane is late or cancelled, I understand that I can't fix or change as I stand at the ticket desk. But as I stand there, who will I be? I could have any number of experiences, from fury to friendliness, from annoyance to understanding. I can just as well say to myself, "These things happen," as"This is always happening to me!"
No matter what our 'personality type' we are still choosing our focus.
Focus on certain things will leave us feeling relaxed. Focus on other things will leave us tense. We know this because we can use devices like visualizing petting the cat or to breathing as we envision the tension flow out our feet and into the ground. We can just touch base with something we appreciate like having great friends (or reminding myself how lucky I am that just spent an entire week with my Dad). Feeling grateful and annoyed at the same time is actually impossible. Or we can empathize with others, looking around to find those who are having a worse time than we are or imagining what it's like to be the ticket agents who have to be the brunt of people's frustrations every day.
These techniques that bring us back to the moment, calm us down, and restore our sanity, won't wipe out stock losses, get planes off the ground or stop time. But they do feel better.
And I'll tell you what else feels better to me: to know that I have a choice.
And yunno, if I want to feel bad, I know just how to do that too.
If you wish to reprint, feel free, please link back here and if it's of use, include:
"Elese Coit is a leader in transformative personal change and Hosts the Radio Show A New Way To Handle Absolutely Everything. To see the world differently, reach for one of her '101 New Pairs of Glasses' each day on http://elesecoit.com"